whatever.

"I don’t know where I stand in people’s lives. One minute they treat me like I’m someone special, then nothing the next"

It sucks when your competition is much better than you.  Yeah it kills me emotionally for not being able to compete, or at least be at the same line as the competitor.  It kills me really deep.  The person inside me kept shouting screaming said that she can do it but deep down inside, I know that I'm never good enough.  So whatever.  I'm tired of saying "it's okay".  Tired of saying "I don't care".  Tired of saying "I'm sorry".  Tired of listening to their excuses.  Tired of being an option.  Tired of cheering people up when I myself isn't happy.  Tired of pretending as if I don't have feelings.  And most of all, I'm tired of being me.  Whatever.

Ahh what is this sesi luahan perasaan doing here.  Gosh what has gotten into me .___.